I woke up this morning, did an hour of yoga and an hour of weight training at the gym and had no intentions of running. As the day went on, something kept welling up inside of me. I NEEDED to get out and run. I always get emotional this time of year as I reflect on all that has happened in the year and look to what the new year has to bring. This year was the first year I started trail running and I don’t know if that played a part of today’s run or what, but it was a very spiritual run. And my heart was full.
Waking stream of consciousness
On a sleeping street of dream
Thoughts like scattered leaves
Slowed in mid fall into the streams
“Delta” – Crosby, Stills & Nash
For the first time this year, I ran with music. And I’m not sure if that had anything to do with the emotions of today’s run. I’ve always been very passionate about music but the songs that I have played in the past while I was marathon training were songs to get me pumped up and motivated, not song that really touched me. Not today. Something made me take my iPod and play music that has moved me one way or another throughout different stages of my life. And it was perfect.
Sometime last year I learned to turn off the motivating, pumped up music and enjoy the sound of my breath and the sound of my heart as I ran. And it was Peaceful. Today, with my ear bud in my right ear, the sound of my breath was amplified in my head, and so was the pounding of my heart. The the rhythm of my running body fell in line with the rhythm of the music. And it was melodic.
During my run I stopped to capture moments that mother nature was giving me. She was beautiful this afternoon in all her glory. The sun peaked through the trees just perfectly and the sound of the water flowing over the rocks played their own sweet music. And it warmed my spirit.
I thought about a lot during my run. I reflected on all of the accomplishments that I had throughout the year and the struggles that I endured to get me there. I thought about my father, who passed almost 15 years ago and for some reason, he has been heavily on my mind. He must have been enjoying the run with me today. I thought about all that I wanted to do in 2015 and I became overwhelmed. The anxiety of the challenges that I have set for myself and the constant fear of failure overtook me. And I embraced the emotion and worked through it.
The music was the perfect score of all that I was feeling this afternoon. Whether it was a specific verse or just the melody, or perhaps a memory of a time gone by that was associated with a song, whatever it was, it made today’s run special. For the first time, I combined two of my passions together and it was beautiful. And I was moved.
And when my run was over, I turned back to run another loop, but realized my time had run out. I needed to get home. And I was heartbroken. And my heart cried.
I’d love to share just some of the songs from today’s run below. Wishing you a happy and healthy New Year! Much love. Sandy
“Your faith in me brings me to tears”
“I’m Like A Bird” – Nelly Furtado
“Oh, dance in the dark of night, Sing to the morning light.”
“The Battle of Evermore” – Led Zeppelin
“I lost all of my vanity
When I peered into the pool
I lost all of my innocence
When I fell in love with you”
“Hannah” – Ray Lamontagne
“She came and then she drove away
Sunlight in her hair”
“Peace Frog” – The Doors
“Take me to another place, she said
Take me to another time
Run with me across the oceans
Float me on a silver cloud”
“If I Could” – Phish
“I know I took the path that you would never want for me
I know I let you down, didn’t I?”
“I Bet My Life” – Imagine Dragons
Baby, why so lonely?
The day has just begun
Hit the ground, baby
Hit the ground and run
“Hit the Ground” – Lizz Wright