Lost & Found

Well, there you have it. After a little scare earlier in the week and being put on temporary bed rest, it looks like my running may have come to a screeching halt.

I admit. I feel a little lost. I’ve felt a little lost from the beginning of this craziness. For the past six years, running has been my crutch. Discovering the sport changed my life’s trajectory and made it beautiful in so many ways. Running helped me find me.

I know this is a temporary situation, but without it, I feel…well…lost.

There’s a new me to be discovered and I know everything will be okay. I know I’ll find a new norm and I know that my running will come back. But self-discovery is never easy. And all this baby stuff is a little overwhelming. And in the past when I was overwhelmed, I ran.

In less than 15 weeks, I get to meet my little ultrababy, which  doesn’t seem like a lot of time. Now that I no longer have running as my crutch to keep my stress level down, my anxiety has started to kick in. So I have to remind myself to breathe.

I just have to breathe and be okay through this new change.
Breathe and be okay with feeling lost.
Breathe and let my new self be found.

“It just takes some time, little girl
You’re in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be all right, all right”
In the Middle – Jimmy Eat World

6 thoughts on “Lost & Found

  1. Hello my dear!
    Your writing and tenacity for life has inspired me over and over again. Just as you said this a new adventure and life always brings us surprises. I wondered as I read if you’ve ever heard of Zentangle. It saved my life, and many others, when I was in a huge funk in my life. It’s a simple meditative form of drawning. Many folks that have never drawn before are shocked at what they accomplish. It’s being used for many types of therapy and specifically anxiety. I wanted to throw out the idea in hopes that you might find some peace in it. Check out Zentangle.com and if you like I’d be happy to show you via a Zoom video class to give you a live example of what it is. I became a certified Zentangle teacher in 2004 and love it. Anyway. Just an idea. Keep breathing. You have a sea of people sending you love and good vibes. 💖
    Julie Tamanaco

  2. Best of luck to you. I hope you heal quickly. Based on seeing your running streak, I started my own on January 1st, 2017 – I made it 126 days in a row before suffering an injury and being put on strict rest. Running, too, was my crutch, my way to meditate, my release from the day’s stresses.

    I haven’t been able to run since May 6th without pain before, during or after running and I feel lost, but I’m going to get back to it. WE will get back to it!!!!

    Thanks so much for being an inspiration to all of us. You rock!

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