MCM Training – Week 9 (The Butt Massage)

We’re winding down on Week 9 and I’m still recovering. I’ve been trying to keep myself active with going to the gym, but I really do miss my runs. This morning I went to the track with a friend and did a jog/walk for 3.25 miles. IT WAS FANTASTIC and I felt great! Unfortunately, my calf is still sore, so my doctor has ordered an MRI.

I’ve been in freaked out panic mode all week as I keep looking where I’m supposed to be in my training. I have a 20-mile race in 10 days. TEN DAYS!!!!! I reached out to my coach who just a few minutes ago talked me down from the rafters. Everything WILL be okay. I’m still a little ahead of the game for MCM and I finally came to be at peace that it will be okay to miss the 20-miler. Besides a great time with my peeps, I won’t be missing much. I did it last year and the trail was actually a little boring. (who am I kidding…I so want to do it!)

One of the things that I haven’t been doing this training season is keeping a regular sports massage schedule. My muscles are always tight and my fascia is so adhered that it’s ridiculous. I was unable to get on my Massage Therapist’s schedule, so I just put off finding another MT until now.

ENTER THE BUTT MASSAGE

Today I tried a new MT. She’s fairly new and I found her on one of those Groupon deals. Ya’ll know it’s a hit or miss with the Groupons. Well, the MT was really nice and the place itself left something to be desired, but I wasn’t there for the ambiance, I was there for torture. When she asked about how much pressure I like, I said, “Dig in. I feel no pain.” She said she’d like to concentrate on the glutes since I was a runner and I said go for it. Ummm…BIG MISTAKE! BIG BIG MISTAKE! That woman DUG the *F* in!  My toes were curled and my butt cheeks doing their own thing trying to get away from her heavy hand and when she asked how I was doing, I eeked out a “fine!” She massaged, kneaded, and elbowed and then I had that feeling. The raw broccoli I had earlier in the day were making it’s way in gas form. I cannot let this happen! The room is too small and her face is practically in my butt as she’s elbowing me. After the longest 5 minutes of my life fighting it…it happened. Pffft. To make things worse, just two seconds later she decided to lift the sheet. <sigh>

What do you do? My face is smashed into the face pillow that reminds me of those padded toilet seats so I don’t have to make eye contact with her. My little a-hem was pretty quiet, and frankly…I couldn’t smell broccoli or anything that resembled it from my end. What if she didn’t notice? If I said “excuse me?” and she’d reply “for what?” do I say “I just farted?” Or, do I just ignore it and pretend it didn’t happen and do my best not to look her in the eye when I leave?

I chose to ignore it. And when I left, I added an extra $5 to the tip I was planning on giving her. Yep…a $5 fart.

Next run…who knows! Tomorrow, back on the recumbent bike or elliptical.

FartingAtTheGym

6 thoughts on “MCM Training – Week 9 (The Butt Massage)

  1. I firmly believe that – when done properly at the correct pressure level – there is little better in life than a glute massage.

    I’m sure you’re not the first to let something loose while she’s been working on you and you probably won’t be the last. Thanks for sharing your funny story!

  2. I ran my first Ultra in March of this year. In January, I was given the bad news of a stress fracture- I had to take 6 weeks off, and it probably wouldn’t have been that long if I just did what the doc and my Ultra running coach/friend/legend told me to do..to stay off of it.

    Sounds like this is not your first marathon, so you know it’s mostly mental. The MRI should tell you exactly what it is, But, tears are tricky- you need to let the scar tissue form, and then you will feel pain breaking that scar tissue up for up to a week or so.

    Oh, right, my point…After 6 weeks of “rest” I got back out there with a walk/ run program 6 weeks before my first 50 mile race. I felt very blessed to be moving and it was like falling in love with running all over again- the runner high was never higher, and I was so rested. And, had no doubt I would run my race and run it well. Rest isn’t a bad thing. You wont lose that much fitness. Good Luck!
    http://writeitallaway.blogspot.com/2012/10/antelope-island-buffalo-run-50.html

  3. I loved running as a chiild ,but due to having large breast as an adult it’s almost impossible. Sports bras don’t really offer much support either. ( So running can be very painful at times ) I take fast paced walks and light jogging .Any helpful hints ?

    • I’ve heard of ladies doubling up on sports bras if they can’t find the one with the right support. I’m not sure if that would work (and it sure doesn’t sound comfortable), but it’s worth a try.

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